Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Why now?


I was talking to my Mum tonight (because there's no one better to talk to when you think you've failed your exam, especially when you have a good boyfriend and Dad to back up Mum), and my body's just been slowly collapsing on me lately... as I was saying to her, I've been incredibly stressed for the last few months, more so than ever before, and my body was dealing with it and dealing with it and then after I had my exam on Saturday my body just kinda went ohhhhhh... now I can relax. And I'm thinking no, I've still got two more exams I still need it to survive for!

Sadly, it didn't, and while I think I bluffed my way through Imperial Rome, I don't know if I managed to scrape together the 33% needed in my exam today. I've also been flu-ey for the past couple days, leading to the deterioration of brain as well as body — my voice has now faded to that oh-so-sexy husky tone, accompanied with sexy sneezes and coughs — and yesterday I simply could not think until about 4.30pm yesterday, after I had got home and slept for about six hours in all my day clothes, ick.

Hence, it's been very hard for me to study. When I went into my exam today, and saw three topics that I'd been studying on that morning, and knew that I knew the answers to all of them, my brain could not produce what on earth I had been studying. It just... wouldn't. And it didn't, so I had to produce some mediocre crap and waffle through an exam that I should have known the answers for, and now I'm afraid I'm going to fail.

I just wish my body had waited a few days before dying on me. Why now?

I think it was just worn down with stress, and I accept that when you push yourself that hard you're going to get sick sooner or later. But why now?

Total words today: 160. Shut up, I've been exam-ing.
Total words overall: 11,515.

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