The second is a job I want, which I won't go into detail about since I don't know if the employers know that the person who currently has this job (we'll call them Sam) is planning to leave. But I want this job so much. It's quite a big job; I'd need to be good with time management and be organised and outgoing and lots of things I'm not. But it looks like such a fun job; it would go really well on my CV; I really do think by the end of the year I might be ready for it; and a large component of the job is writing.
I'll be up against some hefty opposition from other job applicants if I do go for the job: intelligent, thoughtful graduates who are probably older, wiser, more mature and more experienced than I am. It's frightening!
But I figure if I can spend this year just trying to get ready for the job interview, then at least I'm a step ahead of other graduates who won't hear about the vacancy till it's advertised. I'm not just getting ready for the interview, of course; I'm trying to get ready for the job itself. It's a really challenging and stressful job, but it just sounds so fun, a job I would really love (in between tearing my hair out).
But, oh, if I don't get into the MA (my application will take me months); and if I don't get this job; wow, that's a lot of time wasted! Plus I don't really have a back-up plan. I'd probably just get some crappy dead-end job and study for a regular MA in English (which I'll also apply for).
Oh, the stress! But they're such exciting plans — I'm glad I have so much time to prepare. In a way I can't wait... but in a way I'm so glad I have to!