Thursday, 26 February 2009


Ye gods, I'm exhausted. I'm so stressed, and my feet hurt, and my legs hurt, and my back refuses to relax. I'm so tired. At least I'm better than yesterday, when I was so tired I got dizzy, had to hold on to a table to stop from swaying, was getting double vision from sheer exhaustion.

I feel much more tired than yesterday. Maybe it's a delayed reaction thing. Overtime today, overtime Tuesday. At work for thirteen hours. Thirteen hours of a good working environment, but I get myself so stressed out trying to do all of my work perfectly, crossing every t, dotting every i. I haven't had an error since I started at work; I want to keep it that way. But doing my work perfectly means I'm slower than pretty much everyone else who races through and doesn't check what they should be checking.

I'm so tired.

I don't want work to claim my life, so on Tuesday I specifically did not go to go to bed as soon as I got home. I don't want to leave work, go to bed, get up and go to work again. That's not a good life.

On the other hand, a life where I was less tired would certainly be a better life. I need to go to bed earlier. I get doing things — applying for jobs — and get a second wind. I think my body gives up on getting sleep.

Like when I've been working till 8pm and my body's just figured it isn't going to get dinner (we usually eat around 5.30pm) and has stopped being hungry so that when I do get my dinner at 8.30, 9 o'clock-ish, I'm no longer hungry. Body just gives up and gets on without sleep and food.

Which is very nice of it in the short term, but less healthy in the long.

Anyway. I'm rambling. I'm going to have a shower and go to bed.


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