I don't like how public everything is. At the moment, if you google my name, the first result that comes up that's me is about me as a guest blogger for NZ Book Month, a couple of years ago. That's fine — I have no problem with that. But Twitter (which leads to my blog, and my presence on who knows how many websites/online communities)?
It isn't like I have anything to hide. But it's hard enough to represent yourself in the real-life world, to adequately express your feelings and abilities and opinions in a face-to-face environment, without needing to do so online as well. Anonymity, online, is a little comforting.
Potential employers could find me here. Current employers. Ex-boyfriends. Friends. Family. Workmates.
Again, I don't have anything to hide. It's just that it seems to me like a very cut-throat, very judgmental world out there. One slip-up, and you're defined by that slip-up — especially if people don't know you in real life. How are they to know what I'm really like, or what I really meant?
My current point of view is probably enhanced by my current job status — that of unemployed and job-seeking (as opposed to unemployed and happily sitting on my butt). I had an interview yesterday; I have another tomorrow. I feel I have to present myself as perfect in every way, because if I slip up in any way, I'll be defined by that slip-up.
I am capable. I am confident. I am a keen and reliable worker.
But is any employer, googling me and finding my latest twitter updates, going to get that impression of me?
Yet I'm going to stay on Twitter. Because, as I figure, I'm probably over-thinking it all anyway. I do that sometimes.
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